17 Comments
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The Three Candlesticks's avatar

So good ! Wow, your sci-fi and character development in your stories are incredible - I can really feel Vesper, in the world around her. The last few lines, the sky being “not a judge, but a witness” - I looked up at my own sky and did a quick assessment (I like reading outdoors). ✨✨

I can ramble on but I’ll stop myself. Thanks for sharing! ♥️

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I love to read outdoors as well.

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Michael Parshall's avatar

Magnificent writing !! I will read it through 3 times before I make serious comments. M.

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Thank you so very much!

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Bryce's avatar

Griefmist is a great character! It shows you what you need in order to motivate you to repent and live better. But some can't handle the guilt, or they don't want to change, ergo their bones at the crash site. Makes Vesper unique, and interesting because "vesper" is like an evening call to worship. I don't know if that was your intent, but I got the sense that Vesper's survival was a call to the denizens to observe, repent, and live better.

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Yes. I love that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for reading. I enjoyed writing this story. It felt personal.

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Artemis's avatar

Your prose is incredibly beautiful and poetic, but the story itself holds so much weight. I thought the world building was unique and Vesper’s character was well-developed. You handled writing about her guilt so well, and her internal monologue felt both realistic and haunting.

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

I appreciate you taking the time to read this and share your thoughts. That means a lot. Thank you so much!

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Lady Of The Lake's avatar

Wow! The emotions embodied in this are so tangibly raw. I felt like I got an entire understanding of Vesper, past and present, within this. The Griefmist is such a cool idea, especially when it acts as a mirror for Vesper’s internal guilt and conflict. Your world building, even within such a short story, is so vivid and dystopian.

This was such a fascinating read! The weight of the chute is heavy indeed.

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Thank you so very much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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2 FUL HUN's avatar

Comprehensively impressive. Highly enjoyable. Thank you.

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Thank you very much for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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Jay Gilman's avatar

Excellently written.

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Thank you very much

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steve's avatar

Great work. Part of a larger?

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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Thank you. No, just for fun.

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Apr 18
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Maddie Rune🥀's avatar

Thank you for reading.

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